


Aching

by For Fucks Sake Shirogane (Nupitrr)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Established Relationship, Human! Sendak, M/M, Modern AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-14
Updated: 2016-12-14
Packaged: 2018-09-08 15:45:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8850739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nupitrr/pseuds/For%20Fucks%20Sake%20Shirogane
Summary: He doesn't really want to go back to him, does he?





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was just a short thing I wrote for my creative writing class. It was supposed to be at least 800 words that are based on song lyrics, so I took likes from "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails, "Control" by Halsey, and "Haunted" by Evanessence

He knew he shouldn’t call him. They’d only been apart for a week tops. It was too soon to be begging for him to come back, but he missed him. Something in him needed him, despite what he’d done. They’d call him crazy if he dialed that number, tell him he deserved whatever happened to him. That’s what they’d said when he had gotten the scar.

 

_“He’s dangerous you know. Look what he did.”_

 

Shiro stared at his phone, hands trembling. He licked dry lips as his finger swiped up the screen. His eyes skimmed over the last message he sent, declaring himself a single man again, and the response he received. Sendak was very calm about the break up; it was as if he knew it would only be a temporary halt. He knew Shiro too well.

 

_Do you really want to leave me, Shiro?_

 

He could almost hear the mocking tone of voice as Shiro read the words over and over. The words were chiding and smug, as if he knew Shiro would come crawling back to him in no time, just the same way he had before. The last time it had been because of a change in heart; Shiro had fallen for Allura and left him, only to return within a month. That night, when he lie awake in his arms, cigarette smoke filtering through the air, he’d been asked why he came back.

 

“It just wasn’t right.” it was all he could think to say. Shiro fell asleep to the deep rhythm of his heartbeat that night. Allura was forgotten as quickly as she had come into his life.

 

Shiro stared at his reflection in his phone screen. His hair was a mess, in desperate need of washing and long overdue for a haircut. There were bags beneath his eyes, making his already dark eyes seem pitch black in the dim lighting. He stood, flinging his phone at the couch, and he began to pace back and forth through the living room. Every time he passed the mirror that hung on the wall, Shiro averted his eyes immediately. 

 

He could feel his hands shaking as he ran a hand through his hair. He shouldn’t, he really shouldn’t. The scar was the last straw, that was what he told himself. No amount of apologies would erase the dark band that now ran across his face. 

 

For every moment of error he made there were five moments to make up for it. Gifts and affection were something Shiro had grown used to with him. Coming home to a warm embrace, the familiar smell of his cologne and his deep voice as he was welcomed home. He was always treated so nice.

 

Except for when he wasn’t.

 

Their fights were infrequent but severe. Yelling, screaming, broken glass everywhere. Someone would leave, door slamming shut as they ran from the fray while the other indulged in a bottle or two to forget what had happened. Most of the arguments were started by Shiro, yet Sendak was always the one to apologize, ask forgiveness, bring him back home by the end of the night. 

 

Shiro had seen him at his weakest; in tears, shaking with anger and fear, emotionally volatile. As if he wasn’t constantly ready to explode, those moments were almost frighteningly intense. Sendak had seen him at his worst, shaken up from a flashback or jolted awake by a nightmare. All he could think of wa his voice, soft and loving in his ear, bringing him down from his frenzied state. Every word of endearment he had ever spoken flitted through his mind, sending a sense of calm through his tense muscles.

 

Shiro looked at himself in the mirror across the room. His baggy sweatpants and t-shirt were crumpled, and he looked a mess. In a few long strides he crossed the room and flipped the mirror around. He didn’t want to look at himself right now; he hated how much he loved him. Shiro stood stock still, pulse drumming rapidly in his ear. The phone was _right there_ , and he knew his number by heart.

 

His fingers ran over the dial pad with familiarity. There were three rings before the line picked up. Shiro held his breath and listened to the voice that had haunted him for a week now. There was a soft chuckle on the other line before he spoke.

 

“I’ve missed you, you know.”

 

He hardly remembered driving to Sendak’s house, going far too fast for the city speed limits. All he could think of were his arms, strong and warm, familiar, accepting when no others had been. A smell that still stained his possessions, one that he had grown all too fond of over the past year. His hands, calloused but gentle on his bare skin. He felt like home. Sendak was home.

 

Shiro lie awake staring at the ceiling fan drifting in lazy circles, cigarette smoke floating through the air in delicate tendrils. Sendak’s arm was around him, holding him close, tight, as if afraid that he would lose him again. He took a drag of his cigarette, and exhaled before speaking. 

 

“Why did you come back this time? After what I did to you?” Sendak muttered, barely audible. Shiro looked up at him, saw the glint of light that his golden eyes caught. He carded his hand through his hair with a sigh.

 

“I’m not sure. You’re all I really know.” He mused. Sendak chuckled, sending slight vibrations through Shiro’s body. His lips curved into a smile as he extinguished the butt of the cigarette against the ashtray on his nightstand.

 

“I’m glad we can agree on that.”

**Author's Note:**

> These were all the lyrics I used btw
> 
> I paced around for hours on empty  
> I jumped at the slightest of sounds  
> And I couldn't stand the person inside me  
> I turned all the mirrors around
> 
>  
> 
> Long lost words whisper slowly to me  
> Still can't find what keeps me here  
> When all this time I've been so hollow inside  
> I know you're still there
> 
>  
> 
> You can have my isolation  
> You can have the hate that it brings  
> You can have my absence of faith  
> You can have my everything


End file.
